When Doing Good Becomes Performative: How to Show Up Without Causing Harm
Disaster response isn’t about showing up; it’s about how you stay.
A few weeks ago, a friend shared a story that stuck with me. A well-known nonprofit came into their community after a major disaster. They helped, took some photos, made some noise, and left. Later, when the community reached out for additional support, they were informed that a fee would be required.
They were still grieving and still rebuilding.
And now they felt abandoned by the very people who promised help.
This is what a performative response looks like. It’s what happens when visibility becomes the goal instead of healing.
I’ve seen this again and again in my work, after over 280 deployments to communities impacted by mass violence and disasters. Not because people don’t care, but because the systems we build around care are broken.
Disaster Isn’t a Moment; It’s a Cycle
We often respond to a crisis as if it’s a one-time event. But the Model for Adaptive Response to Complex Cyclical Disasters (MARCCD) shows a different story.
Disasters push communities through recurring, compounding phases:
Anticipation: The threat looms, stress builds.
Impact: Fight-or-flight kicks in. Information disappears. Survival becomes the focus.
Adaptation: The dust settles. Reality hits. Frustration and inequity surface.
Growth & Recovery: Healing begins, but it's uneven, long-term, and often underfunded.
And this cycle doesn’t happen on a blank slate.
Most communities already carry foundational issues: poverty, systemic inequity, housing instability, and more. These compound with chronic stressors (violence, lack of healthcare, mistrust in institutions) and get pushed to the brink by back-to-back disasters.
The Performative Trap
When responders only show up during the Impact phase, when the cameras are on, they risk becoming what we call trauma tourists.
They mean well. However, they overlook the profound, multifaceted reality that communities are grappling with.
What makes support performative?
A service model that isn’t adapted to the local culture or needs
Press releases without presence
Donating what’s convenient, not what’s requested
Leaving before trust is built, or requiring payment before it’s finished
What Real Presence Looks Like
Slow down. You don’t have to be the first on the ground.
Listen more than you speak. Ask what already exists.
Stay past the headlines. Adaptation and recovery take years.
Co-create your response. Don’t bring a toolkit, build one together.
Fund what heals. Art, connection, and peer support are not “extras,” they’re essentials.
I’ve led art-based healing responses across the country. I’ve seen people finally express what they couldn’t say through words. I've witnessed healing occur through shared painting, quiet presence, and knowing that someone stayed long enough to be trusted.
But so often, funding doesn’t follow that kind of work, because it’s hard to quantify. And yet it’s precisely what communities ask for again and again.
Final Reflection
You don’t need a playbook to show up.
You need presence.
And presence looks like humility, curiosity, and care.
So if you're a nonprofit leader, responder, funder, or advocate—ask yourself:
Who am I missing?
What phase is this community in?
What does support look like after the headlines fade?
That’s the work that matters.
Want to keep building trauma-informed, community-centered systems? Let’s talk.
Sources
Vibrant Emotional Health, Group for the Advancement of Psychiatry, & Decision Point Systems. (2022). Model for Adaptive Response to Complex Cyclical Disasters (MARCCD). Retrieved from https://marccd.info
MARCCD Framework, Vibrant Emotional Health PDF. Copyright © 2022. Used with attribution for educational and practical purposes.
This blog references publicly available material from the MARCCD model for awareness and educational purposes. Full credit is given to the model authors and Vibrant Emotional Health.
